HER MAN BEST FRIEND
Some women claim that having a man around that she has no “chemistry” with is normal and should be fine for a secure man. Is it ok for your woman to have a man best friend?
I am a secure man. I have experience with women, and I have never seen a man and a woman to be able to be best friends without one having romantic interest in the other. At some point, it always comes out. Sometimes there was a relationship in the past that didn’t work out, but they decided to stay friends. This arrangement may not have been mutually beneficial.
If you are a man that has recently taken interest in a woman that claims she has a man that is her best friend, should you be worried about him threatening your relationship? Absolutely! Usually, the best friend has been “friend zoned”. This person is so attached to your woman that he has resigned to accept what he can get. Your woman likes the attention and wants the benefit of having a man around without the responsibilities of romantic emotion I am a secure man. I have experience with women, and I have never seen a man and a woman to be able to be best friends without one having romantic interest in the other. At some point, it always comes out. Sometimes there was a relationship in the past that didn’t work out, but they decided to stay friends. This arrangement may not have been mutually beneficial.
If you are a man that has recently taken interest in a woman that claims she has a man that is her best friend, should you be worried about him threatening your relationship? Absolutely! Usually, the best friend has been “friend zoned”. This person is so attached to your woman that he has resigned to accept what he can get. Your woman likes the attention and wants the benefit of having a man around without the responsibilities of romantic emotion. He is there to date, advise, and protect her… Until you came along.
You are here now, and the “best friend” is pissed. He will not show it because he does not want to lose his best friend to another man. He will slowly try to sabotage your relationship. If you are a good man, he may just try to spend time with her. His presence alone will erode your trust in her. However, if you make any mistakes, he is there to show her how many ways she is better off without you.
In contrast, she may also have feelings for him even though she is telling you she does not. She may not be ready to lose that security that the best friend provides. I have heard a woman say, “I have known him for 4 years. You want me to throw that away for someone I have only known for 3 months?” In that moment, she is weighing what she is losing from her best friend versus what she is gaining from being with you.
What should you do if your woman has a man best friend? Leave the relationship. You should have a standard of not sharing your woman’s time and attention with other men. Bow out gracefully because it never works out. Do not make her choose between you and her best friend. If she is attached to another man although it is considered plutonic, you will feel threatened, and it will be difficult for you to establish a place in her life. Her speaking to men, she has known from the past occasionally is fine. However, if your woman is going on dates, spending nights, or voicing his opinions to you about your relationship, you must draw a line in the metaphorical sands.
This is a good time to put a disclaimer about control and insecurity. Please do not read this post and think I am saying women cannot have any male friends or vice versa. Women and men are social creatures. We should have the freedom to speak to anyone. It is necessary to speak to people outside of our relationships and be friendly. We must keep in touch with people we value in our lives including people of the opposite sex. This conversation is not about women speaking to men in general but about respect and consideration in a long-term relationship setting.
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