HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Here are 6 tips on how to get a girlfriend. These will get you ready to attract and keep the woman of your dreams and land that first date with your next potential girlfriend.
Before we begin, let’s make note of some crucial factors when seeking a new significant other. I my experience, it is easier to get the attention of a woman you already know than to develop a relationship from a cold lead. However, it is significantly harder to establish a bond with a woman that has already rejected you or put you in the friend zone. These tips can work if you are pursuing any woman, but your chances are higher with a friend that may not know you are interested or a woman you are pursuing for the first time.
Now is a suitable time to note that our society has strayed too far away from genuine connections. Walking up to woman with confidence is a lost art. The internet dating sites have created an illusion of options while also creating a barrier between people. In most cases, having a positive, face-to-face conversation will result in a better bond. Not to mention a better opportunity to vet out people you may dislike as a partner.
Take this advice as a general guide. This is in no way an exhausted list and I am not guaranteeing results. If done correctly, you can use what you must gain the attention of a woman you desire. On to the tips!
Tip #1: Be Confident
The first thing you must do is become confident in yourself. Walking up to a stranger and being vulnerable to rejection can be nerve racking. It takes courage. To keep your nerves under control you must be in your best mental state to attract the woman you desire. If you are not, it will be written all over your face and she will be able to see you are unsure of yourself.
There are ways to become a more confident man. This process rarely has anything to do with anyone else beyond yourself. Here are a few suggestions:
- Purchase New Clothes.
- Wearing nice, fitting clothes will make you feel like you fit in wherever you are. When you are comfortable, clean, and fresh your confidence will skyrocket.
- Get Into Better Physical Shape.
- Toning up physically will give you a much better body image resulting in feeling confident in how you look. Regardless of where you are on your fitness journey, reaching physical health and fitness goals is rewarding. The confidence will radiate from you for others to see.
- Earn More Income.
- I don’t really know why but having more money on hand always makes me feel better about myself. Having more resources allows you to do more in life. Woman are attracted to men that have more resources and understand that those resources can afford him the ability to do more. Try to become that guy that can do more.
- Practice!
- Lastly, practicing speaking to woman and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and possibly rejected can boost confidence over time. Women are human beings too. The worst she can say is “No” if she isn’t interested. “No” here and there won’t kill you.
Tip #2: Learn How to Speak to Women
Before you go jumping into a relationship, you need to first understand how to interact with women in general. To do that, you need to understand your role with the women you encounter. Most men will confuse a friendly smile for affection but could not recognize a woman flirting to save their life.
You should be treating all women with a distant cordial respect. Make eye contact. Shake hands with a soft grip if necessary. Smile. You should be respectful and respectable. Nothing too touchy-feely. You want to make sure that as you get to know women in one area or another, they all see you as the man that is respectful but slightly out of reach. Why? Because you have control over how you are being perceived and the women around you may talk to each other. All the women should have a pleasant experience around you. This is not the time to blurt out compliments to every beautiful woman that passes by. Your desperation will be seen not only by the woman you are interested in but her friends or coworkers or classmates, etc. You will be the creep that cannot control his eyes or his mouth.
When the time comes to make a move on one woman, her and her friends should have nothing but cordial things to say about you and your potential union. If you have already made one or more of the women around, you uncomfortable you will have a problem convincing the woman of your interest that you would be a good fit. With that said, be kind, thoughtful, and respectful to all women all the time.
Tip #3: Get Comfortable Giving Compliments
Get comfortable giving compliments for no reason. Meaning give them with intention but without requiring reciprocity. If you have your eye on the woman you are interested in, now is the time to let her know you are interested… with subtlety. This is called flirting. When you flirt, she should feel flattered, not embarrassed. “You have a nice ass!” is probably going to garner a mean face if not a slap in the face. If you like the coffee shop barista lady, you may say something right after she hands you your coffee like “Hey, thanks! What’s your name?” as you squint at her name tag. Follow up with a smile and “Thank you, [her name]. You have beautiful eyes. I could come back just to see those again.” Smile and watch her reaction. Then say, “Have a great day!” Leave.
That is a very non-threatening, straight-forward compliment that would let her and anyone watching know you were interested. That fact you did not press her leaves the cliff hanger for more conversations to come. You never know, maybe she hits you with the comeback line and you can close. Maybe she gives you a weird look. The truth is speaking a compliment in front of a counter may be too much for some women while others would melt right there.
Be sure to read the room. Using the example, if she is sweating trying pass out lattes and macchiatos left and right, that is probably not the best time to schmooze with her. Find a better time. That is why most women do not like getting hit on at the gym. If she is in mid set at the gym or at work answering calls like a mad woman, she’s busy, Bro. Find another time.
Tip #4: Ask A Lot of Questions
I know you are wondering when to ask her out. Don’t be too thirsty. If you have a lady in mind, depending on your current relationship with her, you may need to gain information before you or her are ready to take it to that next level. Now is the time to be curious about her. You can ask questions no matter where you are. This is how you keep her intrigued while gathering information to never run out of things to say. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Also, what better way to show genuine interest? Ask her questions to get to know her.
The questions you ask should be in context to your relationship with her. If she is a stranger you see around the gym, asking “where do you live?” is a bit too personal. You may ask, “how long have you been coming to this gym?” or “Do you know any good places to eat around here?” Nothing too personal. Over time and if she is open to you, your questions will begin to allow you to have a database of information to reference later.
Just as a warning, do not interrogate a woman in public. Save twenty-one questions for the first date. The reason for asking questions now is strictly to “break the ice” and create conversations. The back-and-forth banter opens dialogue. Also, be careful of the answers you give as well. Assume that every question you ask is likely going to get a “How about you?” response. Do not ask questions you would not want to answer yourself.
Tip #5: Shoot the shot
This tip is for those of you ready to close the deal and go on a date. This is specifically the act of asking to spend time with the woman you are interested in. At this point, you should have already spoken to a few women just to create conversation and build confidence. You may have even flirted with a woman you are interested in. You can shoot your shot with a woman you know or with a stranger. As stated above, your success rate is higher with a woman that has at least seen you, acknowledged you, and even engaged in conversation with you. Each one progressively better, respectively.
I will make it simple. Just ask. Don’t make it super complicated. Be confident. Step up to her and ask, “Would you like to go out this weekend?” Let’s stop here. It is a good idea if you already know:
- Is she in a current relationship with another man?
- Is she interested in you at all?
- Does she have a favorite place to eat or food she likes?
If you have established any relationship with her, you can get some of these details and use that information to your advantage. Get your contact information if you do not already have it. Follow up with the details of the plan and let her know you are looking forward to your date.
Warning: Do not start blowing up her phone. Give her a call closer to the date to confirm. Do not engage in twenty-one questions over text. Create some distance. Create some boundaries. If you move to fast, you could kill the deal before it even begins. A lot of signals and emotions get lost in translation over the phone and especially text. Save something to talk about for the date.
If this is a cold call, expect any answer. You will likely find out if she is in a relationship and/or if she is interested in you and could be rejected with a myriad of excuses. If that happens, keep it cool and do not make her uncomfortable. Say, “Hey, I had to try. Have a great day.” Keep it moving. Just being open to speak and letting things lie allow you to not be so caught up on the result.
If she says, “yes” to going out, don’t be indecisive. Pick a place (yes, she wants you to) and time that you two can hold a conversation, enjoy yourselves, but most importantly, find out if this is someone you are compatible with. I don’t care what the internet is saying right now, you need to know more about this person before blowing large amounts of money on a date. For now, here are good options include: competitive games like bowling, TopGolf, Putt Putt golf, pool, etc., private picnic, quiet restaurants (booth seating). You want to be in a place where you can engage in conversations.
Tip #6: Set Your Intention
Set your intention up front. This is important because many men botch this part because they didn’t set the right intention up front with the woman. You are just trying to meet to get to know if she is a good fit for you on the first date. Are you looking for sex? Was that the vibe you were on when you were flirting? Do you want a long-term relationship? Be honest with yourself and her upfront. Time to ask the challenging questions that really matter:
- Does she want a long-term relationship?
- Does she want/have children? How many? Where’s the father and what role does he play in HER life?
- Does she want to get married? When?
- What does she do for a living? What are her career ambitions?
- What is her relationship with her parents?
- What are her spiritual beliefs?
- What happened in her last relationship? Does she still contact her exes?
These questions are all very valid questions on a first date. If a nerve is hit, you or she can walk away with no strings attached. You do not want to find out a month later that her ex has a key to her house and comes and goes when he pleases because he is still on the lease. How would you feel if you found out in 6 months that she and her family expected a huge wedding and at least two children but that was never part of your plans to move for your executive job to another state in two years? Jot down your ideal relationship situation before you start just to keep clarity.
I hope this information will help you on your journey to find love and companionship. I understand how important it is to have someone to love and support you. I have a beautiful wife that supports me and my dreams. I believe everyone should have someone to go through life with. The dating landscape is changing in this digital world, but I believe establishing good genuine connections will always be the way to go.
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